There are times cyberbullying is something best handled by a child, his parents and/or the school. There are other times when cyberbullying requires the intervention of law enforcement. This is certainly true when a child feels threatened by the cyberbullying.

Here are some examples when law enforcement should be brought in:

  • A provocative post in a pedophile chatroom providing the name, address and telephone number of the victim can result in sexual predators showing up at the victim’s home or calling them.
  • A hateful message posing as the victim posted on a Nazi group’s discussion boards will result in angry Nazi responses.
  • Intentionally racist remarks falsely attributed to the victim and planted in a member of a racial or ethnic group’s guestbook will help fuel cyberattacks against the victim by irate members of that group.

With very few exceptions, cyberbullies can be identified by a trail left in cyberspace. In addition, monitoring software applications can gather and save evidence in a form law enforcement agencies and lawyers need.

When schools intervene in cyberbullying, they are often on fragile legal ground. This is because the cyberbullying often takes place outside the school and outside of school hours. Schools have very limited authority to react to things that take place off school grounds, outside of school hours and don’t directly impact the school itself.

Many schools taking disciplinary action against the cyberbully have found themselves defending a lawsuit brought by a civil liberties group or irate parent. And the school often loses or is required to settle on onerous terms.

Schools should consider adopting a " special acceptable use policy," signed by the student and parent, giving the school authority over these kinds of activities.

In this way, the school gains some legal clout in getting involved in cyberbullying incidents involving its students.

Even then, it may be a matter of local law and what constitutional decisions exist in the federal circuit and district where the school is situated.

But the schools can get involved without actually disciplining the cyberbully. They can call in the parents and meet with the students and try and resolve things voluntarily. They can run educational and proactive awareness campaigns. They just can’t impose discipline on the student without the parents’ consent.

Special thanks to Parry Aftab, a privacy lawyer specializing in the cybercrime, privacy and cyber-abuse risks, for her input in developing this content.

Do you know what your child or teen is doing online? Do you know who he receives e-mail from; who she exchanges instant messages with; or what a "social network" account is and which such site is "the latest"?

Parents need to know what their kids are doing in cyberspace. The best way to find out is to ask. Unfortunately, children carefully keep cyberbullying from their parents, sometimes until it is too late.

Children as young as nine years old are finding themselves harassed via blogs, Web sites, text messaging and instant messaging. And, many retaliate by becoming cyberbullies themselves. Talk to your children and even your older teens about safe Internet practices. Talk to them about cyberbulling to make sure that they are not a victim of cyberbullying -- or the actual cyberbully.

Teaching kids how to respond to and when to ignore cyberbullying is crucial. Like its adult-version counterparts -- cyberstalking and harassment -- different motives and kinds of harassment require different responses. Some should be simply ignored and the sender blocked. Others should be reported to parents and teachers.  And, in certain instances, the police have to get involved.

This becomes a serious problem when children are reluctant to get adults involved. Fearing more harassment if they do, they often try to handle it themselves. But they have very little guidance on how to do that safely. And if they wait too long to get adult help, they may find themselves at physical risk.

In cases where physical risk isn't an issue, victims too often find themselves ignored. They may be advised to turn the other cheek or lectured on “sticks and stones” not breaking bones and how words will never hurt them. But words can hurt them. Abuse does not have to be physical. Emotional scars can run very deep as well.

So what can be done?
Luckily, as with all technology abuses, there are technological solutions as well.

Offending cyberbullies can have their screen name blocked. (This only blocks that one screen name, however, not the entire account. And in the case of a free Web mail account, can be easily discarded in favor of a new account and screen name.) And, with very few exceptions, cyberbullies can be identified by the trail left in cyberspace.

In addition, monitoring software applications can gather and save evidence in a form law enforcement agencies and lawyers need. There are also easy ways of blocking communications from everyone other than trusted friends of the kids. There are also ways to easily search for references about anyone online to spot cyberbullying public posts before they become a problem (i.e. Google).

Helping them with their emotional pain is harder, though. It’s easy from a distance to tell the victims of a hate campaign to ignore it. It’s much harder to do. The pain requires gentleness and  understanding. The victim needs us to listen and to try and understand. We can't belittle it. We need to deal with  their fear, embarrassment and humiliation.

But you should not play into the hands of the cyberbully by overreacting.

 

Sometimes, the easiest and most effective way to stop cyberbullying is to ignore it. Whether you do this depends to a great extent on the specifics of the cyberbullying. There are times you should immediately speak to an adult about what has happened. 

If you can ignore it, great. Most bullies are looking for a reaction. They want to know that they have frightened or embarrassed someone. They want to see them sweat or cry, even if only virtually.

But ignoring something hateful and insulting isn’t easy for anyone, especially someone between the ages of 9 and 15. However, retaliation can escalate things instead of stop them. So think carefully ("Take Five") before you retaliate with cyberbullying of your own.

If the offense is not something you can ignore, speak to an adult (a parent or teacher) about the situation. Kids are often afraid they will look like a tattletale if they tell an adult, but sometimes this is necessary.

Here are some general tips:

  • Keep personal information, including pictures and passwords private.
  • "Google" yourself often to see what is out there in cyberspace about you.
  • Think B4U click.
  • Take 5! and walk away from the computer when U R angry
  • Report instances of cyberbullying to adults. 

If you want to take an active role against cyberbullying, learn about how you can become a Teenangel

Special thanks to Parry Aftab, a privacy lawyer specializing in the cybercrime, privacy and cyber-abuse risks, for her input in developing this content. For more information, go to teenangels.org.

 

Bullying is nothing new. Whether it be with fists or words, there have always been people who try to exert their power or just torment others.

Cyberbullying is a form of harassment and is sometimes an actual crime. It can take place through Facebook, e-mail, chat rooms, instant messaging, text messages, Web sites, mobile phones, online games blogs -- to name a few. Kids, parents and teachers alike can take action to prevent cyberbullying or deal with it when it happens.

When the harmless prank gets out of hand and turns malicious and dangerous, the police should be called in to help. Harassing, teasing or spreading harmful or illegal statements or materials about others through the Internet or cell phones has lead to devastating results in the past few years. We all need to be aware of how we can help.

Children as young as nine years old are finding themselves harassed via blogs, Web sites, text-messaging and instant messaging. And, many retaliate by becoming cyberbullies themselves. Cyberbullies are often real life bullying victims who turn to the Internet as a way to get even.

This kind of activity often begins on school grounds and continues at home, creating many gray areas of responsibility and liability.

Examples of cyberbullying are:

  • Someone has a Web site where children can vote for the ugliest, most unpopular or fattest girl in the school.
  • Someone sends private and very personal information or images about someone else to others or posts them online for the public to see.
  • Former best friends betray the other’s trust or passwords.
  • Someone posts a nasty thing about another in a blog.
  • Someone with a photo or video cell phone shoots pictures in a locker room or bathroom and posts them on Internet.
  • Someone puts hateful messages into a child's Facebook.

Parry Aftab, a privacy lawyer specializing in the cybercrime, privacy and cyber-abuse risks, publishes information about fighting cyberbullying online.